There are no rules in quarantine

Last nights stained wine glass, sitting next to today’s steaming cup of coffee. Empty baby bottles, crunchy bibs and soiled diapers strewn here and there.

The pile of laundry is taller than my 9 year old now, and never seems to go down. The sink is always full. The pantry is always empty.

Baby Einstein plays as background music to my arguing 6 and 9 year olds, all day long.

This is the soundtrack of my life.

Used bandaids, dirty mismatched socks, hair ties and cereal that never made it into the kids mouths, can be found on the floor at any given time.

The ice maker stopped making ice again and the toilet won’t flush. The lamp needs a lightbulb and that toy my 6 year old wants to play with right now, needs batteries.

Trash is piled high, the dishwasher is full again (but never run), so now the sink is over flowing too. Laundry sits in the washer, smelling of mildew, because I forgot to switch it to the dryer 2 days ago.

Through open windows, you can hear phrases like “why, would you do that?,” “you are driving me crazy,” and “go to your room,” followed by stomping feet and slamming doors.

I wanted so badly to thrive during this pandemic. I wanted to come out a better person. I wanted to cherish the little things, to ride bikes as a family and make pancakes everyday smiling. I wanted to slow down, take a breathe and enjoy this time with my kids for all the people still working, like my husband.

I’M NOT THRIVING THOUGH!!

I’m barely surviving.

I started off with high hopes, but this is getting progressively harder every day!!! I feel like I’m in the movie Groundhog Day. I get up, make the coffee, make the bottle, make the breakfast, unload and reload the dishwasher, argue with my kids to do their schoolwork, do 78 loads of laundry, make the lunch, do some kind of craft with the kids, make more bottles, get my kids 1 million snacks, take them outside for fresh air, make dinner, drink a shit ton of wine, eat my kids snacks when they are bed, sleep a few hours and REPEAT.

Anyone else never know what day it is, or what time it is?

Anyone else find themselves saying, “sure, why not?” to just about anything because, they just don’t care anymore. There are no rules in quarantine. Want Easter candy for breakfast, sure. Want to stay up late, sure! Want to get your third bath today, sure. Want to skip brushing your teeth this week, why, not? Want teal hair, OK! Things I would never have agreed to before, seem like no big deal.

I feel like I’m hanging by a thread this week and just need to know that I’m not alone! Who’s with me???